on Tuesday, I purposely showed up 15 minutes after the tardy bell because I did not want to be mistaken as a student. after all, I was here to observe my favorite history teacher as a practicum assignment for one of my classes, not loiter on my old stomping grounds. after I parked my car in the Visitor's Parking lot, I saw a lady who appeared to be running late. I held the door open for her, and she said, "thank you so much, even though you are probably already 15 minutes to your first class! what grade are you in? what class do you have right now?"
"oh, you're welcome. and I'm actually not a student here. I graduated 2 years ago. I am a teaching social science major at BYU"
"oh, so how old are you?"
"20"
"you look really young for a 20-year-old...and don't worry, you'll be grateful when you are my age!"
I thought about the last time I walked into Timpview High School (besides this one time last year when I was visiting this same teacher and a few of my friends who were seniors at the time). I was the same height as I am now. I blasted Bohemian Rhapsody on my way to school. I went out to lunch with a few of my best friends on the tennis team. I was devastated that Roger Federer pulled out of the French Open due to injury. I was excited to start BYU, but I was definitely going to miss high school. I would miss my social life, going to In-N-Out after football games, making quesadillas with my friends at my house for lunch, Great Harvest runs, and so much more. I thought I was going to be a commercial music major and one day bring classic rock back into the mainstream. I maybe wanted to minor in history. I was not looking forward to BYU not having any caffeine on campus. I was very excited, but also very anxious.
and boy, I was a very different person than I am at 20 years old.
yes, I am still the same height as I was back then. yes, I still blasted Bohemian Rhapsody in my car on the way to school. yes, I still love classic rock music and want to maybe someday bring it back into the mainstream. yes, I still have a lot of the same friends, but we don't see each other as much. some are serving missions, while others are attending different universities. even the ones who attend BYU with me aren't seen very often, because college can take over your life. but even though I thought I had it all with an amazing social life (and truth is, I still miss it sometimes), I have become a much better, stronger person.
I got rejected from the BYU Commercial Music program and decided that I wanted to do something that I love, which is sharing what I'm passionate about with other people. I declared my major as Teaching Social Science in winter of 2017, and officially entered the program in the fall. I know that this is what I am supposed to do, and that I can help so many people in the process, whether it be by teaching them history, listening to them, or even just being a friend. I have learned so much about history, geography, psychology, teaching others, and teaching myself. I still enjoy eating out, but instead of going to In-N-Out after football games, my friends and I will go after our shift is done, and we can't stay all night because I have a crap ton of economics homework to do. BYU has caffeine on campus now. Roger Federer is in the final round of the Australian Open this year. he won TWO GRAND SLAMS since he pulled out of the French Open in 2016.
anyways.
as weird as it is walking into your old high school and getting mistaken as a student multiple times (yes, this incident did happen a few more times), I am very proud of the person I have become. I am now more confident, more resilient, and less anxious. I have learned more about how to control both my ADHD and anxiety and still get good grades (getting on the right meds helps, too). I have a major that I love, and I have a plan for my future. I still hang out with some of my friends from high school, and I have made many new ones as well. I have learned how to serve and be a good example to others, even when I feel like sleeping through all of my classes. I have learned how to better get along with people and how to compromise (this one is HUGE). even though I have stayed the same height since I was 14, I have grown emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
oh, and I also decided that maybe, being a solid brunette wasn't as fun as, you know, getting a little blonde melt in my hair.
