Dad: Goodnight, Justin.
Justin: Happy Father's day! One more question: how does hair grow out of your body? because when Miriam was massaging my back, she told me I was really hairy.
Dad: Well, hair is made of things called "proteins"---
Justin (interrupting): So, if I eat more protein, can I grow a mullet?
Dad: NO.
Justin: You had a mullet once. and I want a mullet. so I will eat more protein.
Justin: Does Louis Tomlinson have a girlfriend?
Me: Yes. is that a problem?
Justin: Well, then can you marry Niall? I've always wanted to be related to Niall Horan! We can be brothers-in-laws!
Me: I wish.
"Look! Cheerleaders!" (after seeing a ton of girls at the park)
"Sometimes I wish I could just get on an airplane and fly away from Tokyo. But then again, I hate airplanes. I guess I'm just stuck here for the rest of my life!"
"Miriam, please. Stop singing. You sound like Niall Horan being tortured!"
"I have really ugly teeth. I think I might be a rabbit. Or a monkey. Because monkeys are legit. And very sexy too."
Overheard at the dinner table...
Wesley: Justin, if you're really that smart, name all 4 parts of the UK.
Justin: England, Scotland, and...............Greenland?
Wesley: NO! Northern Ireland and Wales!
Justin: California has whales! They live in the ocean!
"My new favorite song is Paradise. It's by Coldplay. It goes like this: when she was just a girl, she expected the world..........and dreamed of PARA-PARA-PARADISE, PARA-PARA-PARADISE, and there's some part about elephants in there."
"My hair is getting long! Look at my beautiful sideburns! Soon, I'll have a full on mullet!"
Justin: Why are your friends so weird?
Me: You're weird.
Justin: No, they think it's funny to throw water balloons at me when you're having a party. It's not very funny. It got my favorite shirt wet! And now they think I'm like......... hot or something because they chase after me!
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