torn.

the last few weeks have been pretty rough for me. I've become a lot closer with my Tokyo ward friends, and I will really miss them when I leave. I've also started "school", but then got pulled out of it because the district is upset because I didn't show up for the first 10 days, so I have officially been removed as a student at Timpview High School. I was supposed to be registered as a late arrival. so, this registration process is really stressful. also, my parents are getting stricter and stricter now that my ward friends are in school, as well as my Provo friends. mornings for me is afternoon for them, so it's the only time I can get on Facebook to talk to them. My dad highly disapproves of this, as I am not doing "homework first." and then there's my brothers, who also have homework. all done online, as we don't have a printer. and books. we didn't bring any paperbacks, so we have to read either from the iPad or the Kindle, which 1. I am such a great sister, I got Wesley addicted to The Hunger Games! (which he's obsessed, but he still can't understand how I cry everytime I read about Peeta and the bread, or anytime Mockingjay is even mentioned). 2. Justin is also addicted to books, but for him, it's Harry Potter. he started the first book this summer, and is now in the middle of the 4th. and he's only in 4th grade. I didn't even start the series until the beginning of 5th grade, and I finished in the middle of 6th grade. so, both of my brothers are always using one or the other to read, and I am in Honors English 9, and I have not only 1 but 2 biographies that I have to read before I get back to the states. the first one was about a hurricane in Galveston, Texas. it dragged on really slooooooooooowwwly. I personally was bored to death. the second book, I am able to choose, and I chose this really good book called Unbroken, which I am addicted to. but I barely have any time to really get into it because the iPad is also used for watching movies, playing Smurf Village (both the boys are obsessed!), Angry Birds (MOM is obsessed!), and as a computer when the laptop is taken. so, there is a challenge with that.

my nonexistent math teacher finally proved she exists by emailing not me, but my parents, who expected me to get the message. I have missed a whole chapter, and by the time I get back, it will have been 2 chapters. this was a bad time to take Algebra 2, because I didn't do too well in Geometry and was planning on retaking it as a freshman, but the registration people automatically assumed that if I was a Geometry student, I would have to take Algebra 2. also, as you know, all my friends took it last year and are in Geomecrap this year. so, I got taken out of Algebra 2 and am now enrolled in the same class, but using eSchool (which I should've used for Geomecrap!). all in all, it's been complete chaos.

early morning seminary is pretty much killing me. I have to play piano, I don't have any written scriptures (they were so heavy I left them in Provo and thought I'd get off easy using my iPod, but they would prefer the written stuff), I'm not on my ADD meds yet, so I'm not focused at all and I'm pretty much falling asleep. as soon  as I get back, the boys are awake, so that ruins any chance of falling back asleep. but it gives me a good reason to actually read my scriptures!

in addition to this schooling stuff, I'm stuck in the middle. all of my Japan ward friends have really gotten to know me, and I love them. I will really miss them, and it doesn't help that every time I show up to seminary or mutual, they always remind me, "Oh my gosh, Miriam, you're leaving so soon! I'm gonna miss you so much! You are such a sweet girl and very talented and such a great friend and yeah yeah yeah..." which means a lot to me, because I've actually found a place in this ward! but do I like being reminded? heck no! it only makes it worse. not only are the young men/women doing this, but the young families as well. let's take the cute little G. family as an example. darling 6 year old Kylie and adorable 5 year old Renae look to me as a fashion idol. every Sunday, they find something new about my outfit to obsess over, and ask their mom, "Can I get this? I wanna look like Miriam!" and they always check every week to make sure I'm wearing a different pair of earrings! Liam, their charming 3 year old brother also inspects my earrings, along with showing me all his new creations he makes in nursery. "Look, Miriam! I colored this picture! and it says my name, L-I-A-M! And I'm wearing your favorite little stripey socks again without shoes! Can you go home and play with me all day? It'll be super-duper fun!"  and then there are my youth conference buddies, whom I would do anything to see them again. but I'm leaving too soon to even get a chance of seeing them again.

my Provo friends aren't taking this too well either. to all you Provo friends reading this, do not get offended. when I first left, I got a party. I got a Japan book. I got a yearbook signed. Everyone was asking how I was doing. then, they accepted that I was gone and didn't pay any attention, except for the occasional photo liking on Instagram or email. it was quite boring. but as soon as school started, they're all like, "Miriam, we miss you sooooo much! Come home right now, please! You've been gone way too long!" or "You are loving Japan way too much, and I'm afraid you'll never leave. Why did it have to grow on you?" or "So ready for you to get home! P-Town needs your stinkin cute face!" and I appreciate that very much. it makes me want to come back. but really, why did you have to wait until the end of my time in Japan? that kind of makes it harder. and saying that you wish that I didn't like Japan? well, again, no offence, but if you're my friend, you should want me to be happy. believe me, I wasn't happy at first. but that's when all you guys were on summer vacation. having a blast. and when I'm happy, you remind me that I should come home. which I'm super excited to do. but sad at the same time.

"Nothing's fine, I'm torn.
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel.
I'm cold and I'm ashamed, lying broken on the floor.
Illusion never changed, into something real.
I'm wide awake, and I can see the perfect sky is torn.
You're a little late, I'm already torn."
-Torn by some other singer, but I like the One Direction acoustic version. go look it up!

well, that might've been a slight exaggeration. but that's how I'm feeling right now. torn. I don't want to leave Japan. but I miss all my friends of Provo. I want to go back. But I don't. I want to stay in Tokyo. But I don't. see how confusing this gets?

but to face reality, I am flying back to Provo in 12 days.

Sapporo n' stuff

WARNING: this post has tons of pictures, with or without people in them. so sorry for the inconvenience. and this post may last for eternity. so if you are short on time, I suggest you either come back to it, or skim through the important parts.

so, a brief intro: after girls camp, all my friends returned to church. and then, school started for them. along with school came early morning seminary! I have to wake up twice a week at 4:30 in order to catch the first train to get to the church, which leaves at 5ish. I know, very fun, right? every sunday, from 4-6 PM after church, we also do some seminary. I go to my friend Jayne's house and eat there and just chill until 4. (I am always the only one on Sunday who is still wearing a dress by that time!) I've also been called as the temporary pianist for the short time I'm still here. but you all know that I hate waking up early.

on Thursday, I had to wake up at 4:15. Worse than seminary. we had to catch the first train that leaves for the Haneda airport so we could get to our flight at 8. but this flight wasn't to Provo like I wished. Instead it was to........

Sapporo, Hokkaido, Japan!
{which is a city on a different island in Japan that is usually very cold and a lot of dairy products come from there and is way more spread out than Tokyo, which I like much better than Sapporo.}

like most of our big trips in Japan, this was for some chemistry thing that I don't quite understand the purpose of yet. as soon as we got off our plane, Satoshi, dad's friend, got us on a train to meet up with some chemistry students. they took us to a historical village, a restaurant where we got some fancy Japanese lamb that I didn't care for at all (it's impossible to chew!), a ski jump which was used in the 1972 Winter Olympics, and special Hokkaido Soup Curry for dinner. (I don't even like curry, but this stuff was okay.) the whole day, I was pretty tired, so I don't remember too much. but the hotel was super nice! we got 2 rooms, one for my parents, and one for the kids! in my room, there was the closet, my bed, the bathroom, and the TV. behind this really nice divider were the boys beds, so I would be all alone! the food was great, the room was incredible, and there was an onsen (hot springs). it was very nice.

day 2: this was Dad's day at the university, so the rest of us did some sightseeing! we saw the Sapporo TV tower (which looks like the eiffel tower, but a tomato), some fancy government buildings, and the park where they have the snow festival! after that, we had a really healthy lunch of the famous Sapporo Factory Ice Cream! I'm not kidding, this place is one of the best there is! The flavors are amazing. to get even healthier, we went to this chocolate factory with the cutest decorations! along with the chocolate stuff, there were vintage toys on display, immaculate stained glass windows, and so much cuteness/corniness that I couldn't stand it!

 even the toilet was cute!

for dinner, we met up with Dad, Satoshi and his wife, Satoshi's boss, and another professor at this fancy restaurant. we had really good pizza, pasta, crab meat, salad, and even more ice cream. we are very healthy people.

day 3: we checked out of the hotel right after breakfast. Satoshi got a tour guide to drive us all around the Sapporo area to look at lakes and volcanoes and other national park stuff. everything was pretty cool, but we were in the car all day and I was pretty carsick. not how I like to spend a vacation! but because Satoshi was so nice to get this tour for us, I couldn't complain, because after all, it was pretty legit. we finally made it to the airport, ate the famous Sapporo Ramen for dinner, ate even more ice cream at Baskin Robbins, and flew away!