stand taller: girls camp and a wedding with very tall cousins

hate to say it like this. Girls Camp is probably my most dreaded week of the year, besides the last week of the term. as you probably know, I just really don't like camping. I don't care that we're in cabins. it's still like camping. there's still bugs. there's still dirt. it's a whole freaking week long. it's either really hot, or it's raining. and we always go to Mia Shalom, which is in a high altitude and people really do get altitude sickness up there. also, this was my first girls camp without my mom (I don't really count Japan because that was only 1 night. this one was 4 nights), and I admit to struggling with homesickness. it was kind of really embarrassing because there were these first year (12 year old) girls without their moms, and they showed no sign of homesickness. and we have me, age 15, who misses her mommy more and more everyday. and everyone knew. so it was really hard, even though I have friends. my hair was really greasy and smelled like fire. all I wanted to do was shower. and I don't think I slept at all. but oh well. I was not excited to go at all, but I knew that I was supposed to be up there and that it was the right thing to do, so we can't really argue with that.

the first day we just did crafts and intro to the theme, Stand In Holy Places But Stand A Little Taller. awkward because the only girl shorter than me in our ward is a 13 year old.

the second day, we did waterfront and all the really fun stuff. Camila and I matched. (unintentional.) the 2 of us and Sabrina had a really fun time splashing the poor little beehives and throwing water balloons at them. we got really soaked as well, but it was really fun. we went to workshops later, and those were pretty great. one of them talked about fighting like a girl, and how we have to fight to do the right thing in this world and make the right choice. we have to be prepared.

the day after that, I was really sick. at first, I thought I was dehydrated and so I thought that resting and drinking more water would help. it did, briefly. then we did yoga, and that helped me relax for about 15 minutes. but for the whole day, I just felt absolutely horrible. all I wanted to do was take a nap. but with the beehives being noisy upstairs, couldn't get any sleep in. I got dragged to a workshop about trials and how they can really strengthen us and help us come closer to the Lord. it was an excellent workshop, and I tried to focus on that, but it's hard when you feel like crap. to make it worse, there was some fancy stake activity where we sing to the trees. this one was different because one of the Priesthood leaders spent 250 hours constructing a replica of the Nauvoo temple. it looked amazing, and it was all lit up. and everyone seemed to be feeling the spirit. by then, I was really discouraged because we were all singing and usually, I feel the spirit through music. I love singing the hymns, it makes me feel happy. but nothing could bring me peace. I was praying the whole time, but I only felt worse. finally, I just decided that I had done all that I could, and that receiving a Priesthood blessing would be the best option at that point. but then, the closing hymn was The Spirit Of God, my favorite song. I started to feel a little better. so I talked to one of my leaders, got a priesthood blessing arranged, and we walked back to the pavillion and I was feeling a bit better. at the pavillion, there was a surprise. and this probably changed my night.
a few weeks ago, Wesley went to this thing called "Camp Iron Man", similar to girls camp but for boys ages 12-18. ok, they were more spoiled, they were closer to Provo, they got better food, and from what Wes told me, he had a blast. but while they were there, they filmed this video. (Wes appears in the large group around the chorus, wearing the red baseball shirt. I enjoyed his dance moves). and in case you don't know, I love One Direction. I'm not as obsessed as I was a year ago, but I still love them. a lot. enjoy.

I was really happy, and I felt a lot better! It changed my night, and I was more cheerful. then, I received a really amazing Priesthood blessing, giving me the strength to carry on and reminding me that I could finish out this girls camp. and I felt a lot better. so for a while, I was in this happy spiritual mood, but then the Beehives upstairs were putting on some beauty pageant and wouldn't be quiet. when it finally did get quiet, I heard a thumping noise by the window. I looked up, and this GORILLA was standing there, banging on our window. scared the crap out of all of us! the beehives didn't even see it, and they freaked up. we had to send Haley up to read them a story. after that, everyone fell asleep.

finally, on Friday, my mom and Haley's mom came up to do beauty bar. just what I needed. my hair was disgusting, and it was time to wash it. I felt so much better afterwards! we also had a workshop where someone brought their horse up and talked about bridling our passions or something like that. I was paying more attention to the horse. I feel really guilty.
then, we got letters from our parents and read them in personal scripture study. the one from my mom was really amazing. first, she talked about how much she loves playing tennis with me.  that's always a good thing, right? then she went on to say how the temple is a holy place, and how she and Dad have been married for 19 years, and that it is the only place to get married. all 3 of her brothers have been divorced (2 have since been remarried), and they have made choices that have kept them from going to the temple. because of these choices, they haven't been very happy with their lives. she went on about how I need to find a "Moroni Man" (see Alma 48:11-17). and that we need to get married in the temple.

I then realized how important the temple really was. I felt the Spirit so strongly, and decided that my goal is to find a Moroni Man, and to marry him in the temple. I bore my testimony about that, and I admit to bawling my eyes out. but really. I always knew that getting married in the temple was important, but now it is so much more important, and it is the only place where I want to get married.

now, here's some random pictures. and because I have neglected to do so earlier, I will throw in some pictures from Emily's wedding last week! she married Tyson Barnes in the Jordan River Temple on July 6, 2013.

Sabrina and me.... photo courtesy of Abby Miller

 the lovely pillowcase I made. I try to be all crafty and artsy, and the flower just didn't seem like enough. so I got the idea to put the Merm on the side (my friend Jackson gave me that nickname sometime last fall, and it has since stuck!), but the red puffy paint was having problems, I got a big red splat, and I made Haley turn it into a heart. oh well. we tried.

 my secret sister, Nicky, made me this cute pillow.

 and my favorite gift from her was the One Direction photos, of course!

 the beautiful sunset

 Brianna, Sabrina, Camila, and me

 our ward by the temple

some mother-daughter loving going on.

 Emily's wedding. my mom did my hair.

 me and Hannah. she is Tyson's niece, so we aren't related, but she was just too cute and she thought that we were going to be "new cousins!" she went to culdesac of fire with us, and she tells the craziest stories! her sister Aspen and I made fruit kabobs together for the luncheon afterward. such a cute family!

 aunt Nanette and me. and yes I'm taller than her.

 we tried to take a normal picture. but cousin Oliver was pinching me. and Matthew (who is my age) is way taller than the rest of us. so yeah. didn't work out.

 me, Mary, and Savannah- the 3 girl cousins. (Mary is 2 years younger than me. Everyone in her family is tall! I used to give her my old clothes, but now, she's taller than me. and I've stopped growing.)

 and here we have Wes, who is just an inch shorter than me. 

4 t h of j u l y

last year, we spent the 4th in Nikko, Japan. we stayed in a really crappy dirty hotel place, ate fish for breakfast, walked around mausoleums, looked at waterfalls, went to ninja theme parks, and didn't really celebrate the fact that it was the 4th. so that was last year. (also, you can see how much shorter my hair was back then.)

this year was also different from the 4ths of the past. it was my first time running in the Freedom Run with my mom! we did the 5k, but we didn't actually run the whole thing. this was my first race, and I'm not the fastest runner in the world, so we only ran when all the people were watching us. we walked for the rest of it. but I feel pretty good about it, and my time was 43 minutes and 14 seconds.

 Wesley volunteered and handed out water bottles.

after the race, we watched Wimbledon. Justin asked me if I was this annoying when I actually play tennis, because watching tennis with me is bad enough. I told him I was worse, I grunt and I scream and I make noise. then I just kinda showered, took a nap, and our family (except for dad, who was finishing up some work) went to this sushi place. but Mom and I didn't really want to get sushi, so we just dropped off my brothers so they could eat with our cousins, and the 2 of us went to Cafe Rio instead! then I took a 2 hour nap and got ready for our annual BBQ, the Culdesac of Fire. our whole neighborhood comes to our culdesac and brings a salad or a dessert, we all grill hamburgers, and light off fireworks. after it gets dark, we can see the fireworks that are going off at the stadium in our very own neighborhood! this year, a lot of my cousins on the Wendelboe side joined us. everyone was in town because my aunt Emily got married yesterday! (post to come). it was great.

of course, Haley and I had to get a picture. she gets taller than me everytime I see her!

wesley kinda sucks at taking pictures.

the next day, everyone forgot about Timpview tennis practice except for me, Jen, Mannon, and Catherine, so that meant 2 whole hours of serving practice. we all know about my perfect, consistent serving and so does the Coach, but she wanted me to have more power with my serves. so I guess my streak had to start over from scratch again, because I can't get a spin on it and still hit it in at the same time. then, my friend Kalela who I've known since 1st grade came to Provo from Illinois to visit! we haven't seen each other for 2 years, so we just sat in my room for 4 hours and talked and talked. it was great to finally catch up! and yesterday, my aunt got married, and once I upload the pictures, that post will come. so yeah it's been a pretty good week!

for the love of tennis

holy crap. it can't be July already. but I guess it is.
summer's gone by way too fast. I made myself a summer bucketlist of about 30 ish items. and I've only crossed off 3, 1 month later. I realized that most of these goals were very unrealistic, so I will probably just start from scratch. all of my friends are either on vacation or working, so I haven't really gotten to see them. but this is the one highlight of this not-too-exciting summer:
TENNIS.
Oh, how I love to play tennis. I love wearing cute tennis skirts. I love the smell of opening a new can of tennis balls. I love hitting perfect serves. I love playing games, with strangers or with my teammates or my mom or my friends. and most of all, I just love hitting the ball with my racket. It just feels really good to hit things. when I'm upset, I can take out all my anger on the tennis ball. (unless I'm angry about losing a match, and I hit it too hard and it ends up going out.) when I'm stressed, it just helps me feel a lot better.
ever since I was really little, I had always loved the idea of tennis. I knew nothing about the sport, except you use a racket to whack a yellowish greenish ball over the net and score points somehow, and that people like to grunt a lot. in the summer, i would ask my parents if I could do tennis lessons, but I was already in swim team and we could only do one thing. finally, I got really tired of waking up to swim, and I said, "MOM. we're doing tennis next summer. no more swimming." so I did a little 2 week tennis camp where all they teach you is what a forehand is, and what a backhand is. so I kinda knew the basics. then, my mom and I would play together, but I would always hit the ball out. the next summer, we played every single day. I could slowly see myself improving. I had really started to love the sport. in 8th grade, I decided that I wanted to make the tennis team at Timpview. there was 1 problem: we would be living in Japan for 4 1/2 months, and I would miss tryouts. we played a few times in Japan, but it just wasn't enjoyable in the humid weather and on the astro-turf courts. as soon as I got back, my mom and I would just play on weekends, but no tennis team for me. when it started to slightly warm up again, my mom and I started playing again and boys tennis season started. I had one really good friend on the team, Jackson. we would talk about tennis a lot, and because I had no idea who was on the girls team and how I would get on for next year, I asked him some questions. then, I got the idea that once I got better, we could play each other. he just kinda laughed and said he'd destroy me, but if I practiced the entire summer, then maybe we could play each other. that day, I decided that I would practice as hard and as often as I could. I told my mom this was mostly to prepare for tryouts. (which it was, kind of.) so that's kind of the story of how I got into tennis.

school ended, summer came. I got signed up for the City League, which practices 4 days a week for an hour. matches are held weekly. I also go to Timpview summer practices every Friday. my mom and I still practice everyday, and on Saturdays, I go to a private coach. he was actually BYU Mens Tennis captain!

last week, Jackson got back from a really long vacation, and you know what that means: we're playing tennis. I knew that I probably wouldn't win. I knew that he was on Timpview Boys Varsity tennis, which I think came 3rd in state and were undefeated. half of the people who try out get cut, as opposed to how every girl who tries out gets on. so I knew that he had to be really good, and the idea of me beating him would be very unrealistic. but at least I could try, and it would be more of a friendly game than a real match. so, we went up to his court last Thursday and just hit with each other for a few minutes, and then we started a real game. we played 2 sets, and he won every single time.I admit, I was sort of expecting this to happen, but I didn't know exactly how good he was. and he's serving these lightning fast serves. it was like he was hurling fireballs at me from every direction, but you have no idea where they're coming from, with topspin and all. my game wasn't as pathetic as it sounds, because I did score some points and some of the games were really close. he was actually complimenting me on my serve and how consistent it was and how I have never double faulted. but in one game, it was game point. I had messed up on my first serve, and I never double fault in games. I always make it in on at least the second. so he was teasing me and saying, "you're gonna double fault! you're gonna break you're perfect serving streak!" so I just told him to shut up, and tossed the ball. but I wasn't ready, and I whacked it into the net. MY FIRST DOUBLE FAULT IN A GAME. thanks a lot, jackson. goodbye perfect serving streak. and it was game point. if I had made that shot, I would've actually won a game against him. but oh well. he destroyed me, I accepted my defeat, but both of us had a really great time playing each other!

that very same day, I had a match at American Fork with the city league. not only was it hot, but it was very windy. yet I still managed to win both sets, 6-3 and 6-1. and guess how many times I double faulted? NONE. so I guess my perfect serving streak started again from scratch. but last night, we did a match with both Spanish Fork and American Fork, and there are only 3 other girls on the Provo team, and one of them wasn't there. there are 4 girls on Spanish Fork, and my friend Jen had to play the 1 American Fork girl that showed up, so that meant I had to play 2 matches. the first girl, like me, has a private coach, but after my first serve, I could tell she was a way more serious player. I lost, 3-8. (we did an 8-game proset instead of best of 3). the second girl was about as good as I was, but it was my second match, I had practiced for 2 1/2 hours that day, I had gone swimming, and I was just really tired. I tried my best. but because I was worn out, she beat me, 3-6. If I had played her first instead, I probably would've won. I admit, I was really disappointed for losing both matches, but I guess you learn more from your losses than your wins.

so yeah. that's pretty much everything I've done this summer. Timpview tryouts are in August, and I still haven't decided if I should play doubles or singles. but I am really excited for once the team starts practicing, and hopefully, my perfect serving streak will continue. but really, if I hadn't gotten into tennis, then I honestly don't know what I would do with my life. I'm too short to play volleyball and basketball, we all know that I can't kick a soccer ball to save my life, and I just don't think I can do anything else. I would have nothing to do all summer. but because of tennis, I have been able to have lots of fun, make some new friends, and I have gotten so much better!

and for your enjoyment, here is a picture of Sophie and I before a match. photocred to Jen Farnsworth.

guns, cows, bowling, & temple pageants

well, it's summer. time for every Mormon teenager to attend Youth Conference. this year, I went to Japan and hiked Mt. Fuji. it took 12 hours. it was super hard. but it was worth it.
Jusssssssssst kidding. that was last year.
this year, as all of you should know by now, I am not in Japan anymore. I went on my first real Youth Conference with my ward in Provo, the ward I've been attending for about 10 years. I knew everyone, some people better than others. It was really nice, because I got to know some people a lot better, and I became better friends with everyone. Some people, I knew their name and what they looked like, and that was pretty much it. but after this youth conference, I feel closer to everyone and it's great!

first, we drove up to the Utah County shooting range and shot guns.

before Thursday, I had never shot a gun in my life, and I obviously needed tons of help. Bishop Tirrell had to give me instructions about 10 times before I was ready to shoot it. The shotgun has a kick to it, and I guess I held it wrong because my shoulder was really hurting. Today at tennis, I found 2 bruises from when I was holding the gun, and it just felt really awkward to hold the racket. it also felt awkward to hold a shotgun. we shot at clay pigeons (not real birds), and I missed every single time. so I guess I need more practice before I start shooting real things! we also shot at targets, and I missed everytime as well. and there was this really big gun (please do NOT make fun of me, I am a girl who has never shot a gun in my life and I have no idea what the name of this gun is) that was really loud and big, and I really wanted to shoot it. so, I get one of the teachers (14-16 year old boys, not real "teachers" in case you are confused) to load it for me. and I pull the trigger, and it doesn't go "boom" like it was supposed to. so like every single boy and leader crowds around me to see what was wrong. turns out, the bullet got stuck! and of course, that could only happen when Miriam Castle is shooting a gun. but we were able to get it out, and I was able to shoot it. it was really awesome. I actually had a great time, even though I don't think I hit anything!

we then drove up to a teeny little town in Sanpete County called Spring City. the whole place, like any small town in Utah, had the wonderful fragrance of cows. we ate lunch at a chapel there, played some games, and had workshops. first, a patriarch spoke to us and explained the significance of patriarchal blessings. it is truly an amazing thing. I haven't gotten mine yet, and honestly I want to wait until I am much older, but I really like the idea of them, finding out exactly what your purpose in life is, and what Heavenly Father wants you to do.
but driving around all day and shooting guns can make me pretty tired, so at some point, I fell asleep. I felt really bad about that. but in between that, we had a little break and I was able to wake up.
the next workshop talked about self worth. the quote I remember from that was this (and I'm probably messing this up)
it doesn't matter what size of the audience you perform for.
basically that means that your perception of yourself shouldn't be affected by how many friends you have. even though I enjoy having a lot of friends. it's interesting to think about it.

our theme was "in his holy name." or something like that. in the next work, Melanie, the bishop's daughter, explained the significance of our names. they represent who we are. they can give people a reputation, good or bad. for example, if someone heard that I was the daughter of Dr. Steve Castle, they might think that because my dad is a chemistry professor and was valedictorian of his high school, that I, Miriam Elaina Castle, am really smart and into chemistry and science. this is not true at all. (except I get pretty good grades so I guess I'm smart?) one of the things that I really liked that she said was how on missionary name tags, there are 2 names in big letters. the first, is elder or sister (your last name). the second one is Jesus Christ. the reason for this is that the missionaries are representing Jesus Christ himself. and when you think about it, that's a lot to live up to. but it's an amazing thing to know that these missionaries were sent to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ, and they do their best to be like him everyday.

finally, my favorite workshop was by the bishop's nephew, Jake. he was a really good speaker, and talked about obedience and how important it is to obey the Lord. he shared really amazing stories, quotes, and examples. one of my favorite examples was in being an athlete. he talked about basketball, but I'm going to use tennis as my example. It took me a long time to learn how to serve. I had to practice really hard everyday. but once I learned how to do it, I could've thought, I can serve. I can hit the ball in the court. I'm good at it. I don't have to practice. but even though I'm pretty good at it now, I still find room for improvement, and I still practice my serve everyday. the same thing applies to gaining a testimony. after you have a testimony, you can't just think I have a testimony. I don't have to do anything else. I don't have to keep working for it. you have to keep strengthening it. you either gain a stronger testimony, or you start to lose it. you can't just stay the same.

after the workshops, we drove to Sterling, a little town just outside of Manti and set up our camp. we camped at a nice grassy park with a playground, real bathrooms, and even a tennis court. I should've brought 2 of my rackets and a can of balls! I was so mad. but then again, we wouldn't have had any time to play tennis. but I really wanted to. but the playground was actually really fun, and I enjoyed going on the teeter totter. my friend Sabrina said, "oh look at Miriam, squealing and having the time of her life!" yeah. I was about as happy as a 2 year old. kinda embarrassing. but yeah, I loved it.

next, we had the famous Manti Pageant. this picture has no filter at all, believe it or not. although you would think it might, because Haley and I are actually freezing our butts off. and the temple is really that beautiful. and the Bishop somehow found his way into the picture. everything about the pageant was amazing: the story, the lighting, the costumes, and the Spirit. I loved every minute of it.

the next day, we did a service project, went bowling in Ephraim (another small town in Sanpete county that smells like cows), played kickball at a church in Mt. Pleasant (this town not only reeks of cows, but horses as well), ate dinner, had testimony meeting, and went home. it was a great experience, I loved all the workshops, and felt the Spirit really strongly. sorry for the long post, but really, it was so amazing. much easier than hiking Mt. Fuji. but then again, bowling is pretty hard. no matter how hard I roll it or where I stand, my balls roll into the gutter every single time. (Haley Spackman can testify to that!) of our little bowling team of 5 people, Mer Bear lost with a score of 36. Hays got somewhere higher than that. and the rest of our team (her older brother Josh and 2 priesthood leaders) got into the hundreds. you could say i was defeated. also, I can't shoot a gun to save my life either. (Bishop Tirrell and all the other Priesthood leaders can testify to that.) and I can't kick a kickball to save my life. (my whole ward can testify to that!) so, there were some challenges. but it still doesn't add up to the difficulty of hiking Fuji.
 

our desert adventure

so it's been a month. I have been doing so much end-of-year homework. holy crap, can I just say, most stressful time of year. so then summer starts, and I'm supposed to feel relieved. nope. on fridays, I practice tennis with Timpview for about 2 1/2 hours, and on other weekdays, I do the provo city league tennis for an hour. on saturdays, I have 1 hour with a private tennis coach who actually used to be the BYU tennis captain, and sometime in there, i play with my mom or with friends. so tennis takes up a lot of time. to earn money, I will be teaching piano lessons to little kids in my ward. and I still have to do some summer work. so I'm actually pretty busy this summer.

because we went to Japan last year, we decided to just have a chill summer and never leave the state of Utah. we spent an enjoyable 4 days in Moab this week to start off the vacation.

we drove away Tuesday morning after I went to my first Timpview tennis practice for an hour and a half. I am a walk on, so I don't really know anyone on the team so I just practiced hitting with the new freshman. anyways, we stopped off at Canyonlands National Park, did a little hike, drive around to some viewpoints, and took several pictures. it was really hot and we got tired quickly. we made it to our condo in Moab around dinnertime, and just chilled there.

Wednesday we hiked the Fiery Furnace in Arches National Park. since I hate hiking, I wasn't very excited for this hike. we were told it would take 3 hours, and there are no bathrooms anywhere, and we can't just poop on the trail, as Wesley brilliantly suggested. I braced myself for the worst, but it was pretty easy. we had a guide who stopped every 5 seconds pretty much to talk to us about the beauty of nature. it was more like a chill, extra long, intense nature walk with some rock climbing in the desert. after the hike, we went to some other arch, but it was really hot and we were all getting grumpy and tired. I don't remember exactly what happened, but my mom decided she had enough of me and spat a ton of her water in my face. I got back at her, and then she did it again, but this time she practically showered me with her water. at this point, we decided to leave, go back to the condo, take naps, and watch Elf. i know, you are thinking that we're insane, watching Elf in June. but that was the only movie they had at the condo, and it's hilarious, so why the heck wouldn't we watch it?

 Thursday we went river rafting! we left early in the morning, got in a van with some guy from Wisconsin and our guide, and drove along this really bumpy road for a looooooong time before we finally got to the river, which is basically in the middle of nowhere. we finally got on the raft, and it was just our family and Jake the river guide. poor Jake had to drive us, row our boat, and put up with us all day! the night before, the boys and i made plans to see who would get thrown out of the boat first and how long it would take. but we didn't do anything on our list. we were pretty good, I guess. by the end of the day, Jake knew pretty much everything about our whole family and could probably fit right in! the raft was fun, and I admit I did freak out when the rapids came and was terrified of flipping out of the boat. but we were all safe, got soaked, no one fell out of the boat, and had a great time. and no one got sunburnt. that's a great accomplishment.

friday or today, we packed up all our things and drove home! but first, we stopped at Goblin Valley to play around in the hoodoos and eat lunch. mom and Wesley had gone camping there last year with my grandpa and cousins and they said they had an amazing time, so Dad, Justin, and I were the only ones who had never seen it in our lives. all I knew about it was 1. rednecks like to go camping there, and 2. the music video for Human by The Killers was filmed there. it was a really fun place to just run around and check out everything and climb on the hoodoos. we found some pretty cool caves. but of course, Justin and Wesley wandered off, got lectured, Justin had a meltdown because he wanted to stay longer, it got really hot because we're in a desert in the middle of nowhere, I ran out of water, and my parents realized we had to eat ASAP. we all needed to refill our water bottles, but the water was yellow and questionable, so we asked a ranger, who said it was fine, just full of sand. yeeeeeeh. so we ate some sandwiches, drank some sandy water, and drove home.

I had a pretty fun time, even though I would've much rather been in London, New York, or San Francisco. or Tokyo again. someday, I want to travel the world.