carpe diem, YOLO, live in the moment.

Ever since Youth Conference, something has just.......changed. I made a lot of friends, hiked Mt. Fuji, had an amazing time, and just a life-changing experience. When I returned back to our little apartment, things just weren't the same. I felt like I have been missing something this whole summer. I'm not talking about in terms of the Hoff Cousins blowing on napkins trying to make them sound like brass instruments, and me epically failing and shooting napkin bits across the table. Although I do miss that a ton, actually. You see, in our family, my dad is a professor and he is at work all day either teaching a class, grading papers, preparing to teach, or doing research. Dinnertime is the only time of day we actually see him (besides breakfast, if I wake up early enough, which in Provo, I usually don't), so we are all very excited to tell him about our days. But because he doesn't want a lot of noise, we have a "no loud unnecessary noise, playing with food, or singing at the dinner table" rule, so mealtime has been very boring! Anyways, I'm getting very off-subject. My point is that I realized something I should've realized a long time ago; my love for Japan.

if you have been a long time blog reader, or a recent stalker (either way is fine), you already know that I wasn't too happy on the idea of coming here. most of my posts are rants about how I want to return back to Provo. and it makes a lot of sense. But for those of you newcomers, when I first got here, I was pretty upset. I was going through major culture-shock, I didn't have any friends, I wasn't used to getting around the city, I didn't know any Japanese at all (not like my Japanese has improved or anything), I wasn't very independent, the food was different, and most of all, I didn't have any personal space at all. I spent most of my time complaining about how much I wanted to go home, how I missed all my friends, how I needed personal space, and that everything was so different and not the way that I was used to at all. Everytime Mom tried to teach me Japanese, I was resistant. Whenever we were about to go to a new museum or the park, I always begged to stay home and waste time on Facebook, desperately trying to communicate with friends back home. Sometimes it worked and I was glad I stayed; other times I was forced to go, and I ended up having a really good experience. But most of the time, I was unhappy. Homesick. Lonely. Pretty pissed off because I didn't have any time to myself. I was very moody and unpleasant to be around, even though I tried my best to be happy. As the weeks went on and on, I started to get used to everything and even learn to appreciate it, knowing I was only this much closer to returning back to Provo. Because why go to Japan and not have a memorable experience there? I wish I knew that at the beginning of summer.

Youth Conference, which you can read about here, was one of those places I wasn't too excited about going. But if you read in the post, I had the most amazing week of my entire summer. It taught me a lot. As I got to know all these wonderful knew friends, I realized that they have either been in Japan for a lot longer than I have, or they moved around a lot more than I have. And they were all very happy about Japan! they would ask me about what life was like in Provo, and I already knew that it was extremely different. But as I was talking to them about where I was from, I experienced nothing I had ever experienced before. I have lived in Provo for 9 years, and it's one of those places that everyone claims to hate, but never leaves. When people actually do leave, even for the shortest amount of time, they freak out because it's like a whole different world. They are exposed to materialism, people with completely different standards, hardly any Mormons, and my own brothers would freak out even if they just see someone drinking coffee or tea. They are lost and hopeless and don't know how to cope in a world that isn't Happy Valley. Being in Japan has taught me that it's okay to get outside your comfort zone. Keep your standards high, but not to freak out about every single thing. To get to know different people. After hearing about my old life, my friends were all like "Well, that sounds like a really nice place to live!" Which it is. But to all you fellow P-Town pimps (I don't know the correct term for people from Provo!), there really is a lifestyle that is completely different from yours. and it's a good one. You get to have new experiences. Try different foods. Not take everything for granted. Be more relaxed and.....brave, instead of freaking out about everything. While still staying true to yourself. and I am so grateful for my opportunity to get away from Provo and get a completely different experience. It's been the best summer of my life.

Before Youth Conference, my friends weren't in school yet, I was on the computer/iPod 24/7, and I was pretty much wasting my whole summer. But youth conference happened, everyone started school, I actually made friends, and I come back to Tokyo, and none of my Provo friends are "there" anymore. The day after I got home, my dad gave me my first assignments: to contact all of my teachers and ask for assignments. I have also had to work on Japanese, read actual books, and write a whole report about Peer Tutoring. It's been a lot of work. Even though I still consider it "summer" because I'm not officially in school, I'm a lot busier than I used to be. and it's really sad to think that it has been wasted. So, as all you teenagers say, YOLO or You Only Live Once, so I will enjoy it while I can. For those of you more educated people, carpe diem, or sieze the day. or, as I say, live in the moment. 

{for once, I am actually sad to leave Japan. It has grown on me so much.}