transcandental thoughts.

I know, I know that you are anxious for a Japan post. To all you long-time stalkers (this term is not a bad thing. Admit it: we all go blog-stalking at times), this isn't new, but to the newer ones, this blog is generally used for an update on my life. However, sometimes, when I am sitting alone downstairs, playing the piano and singing Adele (or whatever I feel like), I get inspiration. And suddenly......the light bulb turns on, and inspiration strikes me. today, I feel like a transcandentalist, which never made any sense when we learned about that in American Studies. but I realize that really, this world is really crazy. it's chaotic. sometimes, I need a little simplicity. even just a little. I wish that I could just run away into the woods and leave everything behind, escape, and just be gone.
forgotten.
separated from the real world.
in my own little happy place.
where I can just forget everything I have ever worried about, and where stress isn't allowed. where everything is simple. where I can just sit back, play the guitar, and sing my heart out.
where I don't even care what anyone thinks of me. where I can be myself. where I don't have to worry about school, drama, impressing people, being someone I'm not, or my looks.
where I can just.............reflect upon the meaning of life. go into a world where everything's okay, no explanation needed.

back home, I had a few of these places. the stake park, for example. also, the tennis court. (yes, i go in my own little tennis place.) the temple. my bedroom. I can just do my "thought processing", as I call it. tennis, music, and my escapes are what keep me sane.

here, I haven't been able to do that. our apartment has: 1 bedroom with 1 bed for each of the 5 members of our family. a living room. a kitchen. and 1 bathroom. oh, and a teeny backyard with a swing, where cats and mosquitoes dwell, too. I haven't been able to escape. and out of all the things i miss, that is what I miss the most.

I haven't even been able to finish this post. there is no privacy here. Wesley has been bugging me for the past half hour to check his email. (only 1 of his friends actually emails him.) no one understands that I need this time to reflect. there is more I wanted to talk about. but this circumstance is just the perfect example of what I have been yearning for. I will talk tomorrow.

scienara.