SERVING others, or just serving myself?

ever since the beginning of high school, I have always wanted to be on student government. I thought it looked really fun, you got to plan things, everyone seemed like they were always having a good time, and you were recognized by the school for doing good things. I love being in charge of things, and I thought that if I was on student government, I would use my genius ideas to make the school a better place. I thought I had all the qualities of a typical, cookie-cutter student government kid: I get pretty good grades, I take AP classes, I attend all football and basketball games, I don't regularly sluff class, my attendance is pretty good, I'm social, I'm outgoing, I am a natural-born leader, I like to take charge, I'm organized, and I'm pretty well-liked. The student government advisors have both been my history teachers, and I love both of them. One of them even let me TA for her this year. So, I thought I was in pretty good shape.
my original plan was to run for Social VP, the person who plans the dances. I admit, I didn't have a lot of experience with dances. I had never been asked to a boys choice dance, and the 3 girls choice ones I had been to, I loved them. I had so many ideas of how to make them better, though. I talked to the current social VP and asked if I would be well-suited, but she said, "if you even want to think about tennis next year, please go for a smaller position. it's a lot of work, and you would never miss practice to plan an assembly." so I decided to go for Northeast Justice. at my school, justices and senates are based on a mock-government; you run based on where you live. there are 2 senates for each area, a boy and a girl, and one justice per area. Justices are in charge of upcoming elections and other things. well, the majority of people who like to run for student government also live in the northeast area of the Timpview boundaries. so, I knew i was in for some competition. but that didn't stop me.
so, in order to run for student gov, you need to complete 5 hours of service and attend 5 activities from february to march 20. I went to every basketball game, orchestra concert, softball game, and boys tennis match that I could during that time. I also joined junior council, a committee of juniors who do my dream job, which is PLAN PROM! they wanted a "city" theme, and in the back of my mind, I got an amazing idea:
A NIGHT IN NEW YORK.
the advisors liked it, the junior council presidency liked it, and BOOM.
my idea became the actual legit theme for Prom.
so that meant I would help out a lot with the decorations and stuff.
(a few weeks later, it got even better. I got asked by one of the nicest, most attractive boys in my grade. I've had so many girls tell me, "I wish that was my date!" anyhow, I'm getting off subject.)
so, I was approved to run after that. but I needed a good campaign.
a lot of people wanted me to use a castle/princess theme, but I just thought that made me look soft and feminine, which is not the most accurate description of me. and my original idea, "don't be an (something that rhymes with Castle), vote Miriam Castle!" wasn't school appropriate. so, I called up one of my friends, and we took these pictures.

 "she's #1"

so, most of these pictures were turned into some sweet looking posters, none of which are saved on my computer. but most of them said "SERVING you as Northeast Justice- vote Miriam Castle". so of course, I had to put some tennis humor in there. my friend who usually takes my pictures moved to Highland, but she still agreed to take my pictures and let me borrow her Disneyland crown (there is no way I was going to use the Castle theme seriously. the most I would do was wear the crown). a lot of people complimented me on my posters.
but WAIT.
one of my opponents was one of my very own teammates. I admit, I did not want her to win. I mean, last time I played her in tennis, she beat me. so, maybe this could've been my revenge. but we were friendly with each other and never trash-talked. but it wasn't what I wanted to do, run against my teammate and friend.
OH, and a sophomore boy was also running against us. both juniors and seniors can be elected as justices, so I had to worry about 2 people now.

but I thought I had a lot of support.
I guess the sophomore boy had more though. (and his campaign was also really good.)
what I think happened, was my friend and I split the junior vote, and the sophomore boy got all the sophomore votes, which makes sense. and in a way, I felt a bit better because I didn't like running against my friend and teammate. I didn't want to beat her, but I didn't want her to beat me, either.
but I lost. and I don't like losing. a lot of my friends made it on, including my prom date. but not all hope was lost. there were still 9 appointed positions. you had to interview for them, and they were tough, but of course, because I thought I was qualified, I could be one of the 9 people......out of around 30.
(my interview even went really well!!)

and of course. you can already tell, I didn't get it. at first, I'm just telling myself "why, you were so qualified to this!" and then "I suck I suck I suck I suck I suck" and then finally, I realized that if I was the one choosing people, then I would look at someone like me and notice there are a lot of good qualities, but also a few flaws. like:
1. I am blunt and honest and straight-forward. some people really like this quality, and in some situations, it is very good. but say, you are on a planning committee with others, and you don't like their idea, and if you're anything like me, you skip all the sugar coating and straight-up say, "this sucks." not appropriate for student government. I really try not to do this, but sometimes, I have no filter and I worry less about pleasing everyone and making them feel good and more about getting what I want.
2. I am a bit sassy. Again, I really try not to do this. But at the wrong moments, I come across as rude. Is this good for student government? Not necessarily.
3. I really hate to admit this, but sometimes, I take the role of being in charge too seriously.

and YES I JUST ADMITTED MY SHORTCOMINGS. that is a hard thing for me to do. really, it is. I had never even considered them until after I lost. am I happy? not really. did a lot of my friends (and my prom date) make it on, and I didn't? definitely.
but, is this a learning experience? of course.
and can I use this to become a better person in the future? dang right, I can.

some things, I feel like I just can't change about myself. truthfully, I will always be an honest, straight-forward person. but I'm working on not saying what I'm thinking all the time. and I'm trying not to make everything about me. I did genuinely want to help out my school and make friends and be involved. I do have good intentions, but sometimes, I think more about what I want and have a difficult time agreeing with others.

and really, the fact that I actually put myself out there and ran for something, that is an amazing thing itself. it was so dang scary.

I should probably be reading The Grapes of Wrath right now, so I'm gonna end this here.
goodnight.

MORP 2k15: now...HOW many Jackson's are there again?

well, out of all the many (3) dates I've been on now, this one has got to be my favorite. hands down. (sorry to the other 2.) MORP is just one of the best dances. It's near the end of 3rd term, which is probably the worst part of the year, so it gives me something to look forward to. it's in March, the weather is good, and both years I've gone it's been semi-formal. AND the girls get to ask. Well, a lot of my friends are seniors, and this would be their last girls-choice dance to go to. so, I asked one of my very best friends, Jackson. His sister Kate and I are also really good friends, and she told me, "if you want to ask him, then go for it! but if I were you, I would ask a lot sooner than later!" so, 5 days before Sweethearts (HEAVEN FORBID I ask to Morp before Sweethearts is over!!), and 2 days before Sweethearts, he answers me (some really weird girls thought the whole thing was crazy.)

this is probably the best thing I've come up with. so, Jackson and I both play tennis. actually, we've played each other for fun a few times and he always beats me. once, he played with his left hand and he still beat me! either he's way good or I'm way bad. but he did tell me that I have a great serve and I'm very consistent, so I probably wasn't as bad as I thought I was. also, that was almost 2 years ago, and I've gotten a lot better. also, if you think I'm not classy or anything, don't worry, Jackson thought it was funny. the poster says: "JACKSON- it took a lot of BALLS to ask...MORP? (name is on balls)"

3 days later, this shows up on my doorstep:

"can I? YES!"

well, I got myself an answer 3 days after I asked, I got myself a date, I got myself a dress, and I got myself a group. sounds great, right? well, it's not quite that simple. whenever girls have to plan dances, they go psycho on each other and NOTHING is ever okay. there's always a problem with the food, the time, the plans, every little thing has to be perfect. I decided that since I was the only junior besides my friend Kaitlyn who wasn't even going on the day date, I would try to cause the least amount of problems I could. but it was pretty stressful getting plans changed on me all the time. Long story short, I had to call up Jackson the morning of and say "plans changed, I'm picking you up in a half hour." and he said, "thanks for letting me know, I need to get out of bed!" so I got our day date snack at Kneaders (we order the exact same thing, turkey bacon avocado on foccacia, so that wasn't even a problem), picked him up, and drove to the house we thought we were meeting at. well, guess what? as soon as we get there, someone calls me and tells us to meet somewhere else instead! and that place was, what do you know, right by Kneader's where I just was! but what can we do. not our fault.

our day date plans were to go razor riding west of Eagle Mountain, which is west of Lehi. so pretty much in the wilderness, about 40ish minutes away. well, I had no idea how long it would take to get there, and all of a sudden, I really had to pee. I tried to hold it as long as I could, but finally I decided I was desperate and told the driver "I really have to pee. I mean, really." so Jackson H, our driver (not my date, who is Jackson B) just pulled over and there were no bushes, so I had to jump into a ditch and let it all out. not what everyone expected. and I'm already feeling bad because I'm the only junior on the day date, so I already feel like the baby. and I made them pull over. but that stuff just happens, and it made for an exciting car ride!

for those of you who have no idea what razor riding is, that thing behind me and Jackson is a razor. or a rhino. or a who knows what. but pretty much, you drive these things around in the desert and have a gooooood time. it's pretty much just off-roading. and it is SO MUCH FUN. I had never done razor riding prior to this date, and I am sure glad I hooked up with this group because Jackson and I were having the time of our lives out here! we were in a 4-seater, and we took the backseat because I'm not experienced enough and I didn't want my date to kill me. So, the other couple, Emily and Jackson R (yes, there were 3 Jackson's in this group. it was pretty funny when someone would yell, "hey Jackson!" and all of them would say "which one?!" and no, we did not all get together and say, "hey, let's all ask people named Jackson!" it just so happened that way. but I really like that name Jackson and apparently so do tons of other people) sat up front and other Jackson was a great driver and didn't flip us over, and we made it out alive! it was quite an adventure! 

the girls. front row: me, Jaysi, Micah, and Hally. back row: Emily, Annie, Regan

our group: Jaysi and Lance, Maloy and Annie, Jackson R and Emily, Hally and Jackson H, me and Jackson B, Scott and Regan, Fielding and Micah

also, HUGE thank you to Jaysi and her dad for bring up all the razors and making this possible! 

all too soon, we had to pack up and Jackson H and Hally drove Annie, Maloy, me, and Jackson B (aka Jackson my date) back to Kneaders, we all got in our cars, and drove our dates home. we would see them again in less than 2 hours. my really good friend Haley told me she would curl my hair with a wand, and it turned out great. my hair is really thick and usually refuses to curl with a clamp iron. but Haley is a hair genie and knows how to work her magic wand, and it looked so good! as soon as she was finished, I got back into my car, chose my new "MORP" playlist, and picked up Jackson once again. the first thing he said was, "bad news. I thought your dress was black, not navy. and I'm wearing all black. don't kill me!" and I just said, "of course not! you look great!" and his sweet mom took a few pictures of us, and then we drove back to the Riverwoods for like the 3rd time that day to take real pictures and eat dinner!

and Jackson, being so sweet, even got me a corsage.

 left to right: Lance and Jaysi, Jackson H and Hally, Maloy and Annie, Jackson R and Emily, Micah and Fielding, Regan and Scott, me and Jackson B, Kaitlyn and Chandler (Kaitlyn had dance all morning and couldn't make it to the day date, but we are all so glad she was able to come to the dinner part!)

 the dudes: Jackson R, Jackson H, Fielding, Scott, Jackson B, Chandler, Lance, and Maloy (the King)

 Emily, Micah, Annie, Jaysi, Hally, Regan, Kaitlyn, and me

we had a wonderful dinner at La Jolla Groves. it took forever for any of to choose, because everything looked so good! Jackson went with a chicken alfredo pasta, and I went with beef sirloin medallions with mango chutney. it was so good,and I wasn't even stuffed, which was good because next up, was the dance!

the theme was "Once Upon a Time", so it was perfectly fitting that the dance was at a castle park in Lindon. this place is usually used for receptions and stuff like that, but I guess for 1 night, it turned into a Timpview High School dance party. some people took the prince/princess theme seriously; most of my group did not. but if I say so myself, Jackson and I were definitely the best looking couple there. we had a great time "dancing" (Jackson just standing there watching me get into it), going to the photobooth, and then, there was slow dancing... Jackson almost twirled me into some other couple a few times, but other than that, we were probably the greatest dancers there!

after about an hour, we drove back to Jackson's house so he could change, and then we drove to my house so I could change and pick up some cookies to bring to Regan's. she had a bonfire going in her backyard, and a really cool swingset on the side of a hill. I guess I have no life because I do not like swinging. the motion just makes me a bit seasick. but Jackson proved to be an entirely different case. he saw the swingset and went running for it, hopped on a swing, and was squealing and laughing and having the time of his life! finally, he convinced me to join him so I could "feel the magic of the swings! Miriam, you gotta admit, it's pretty cool. it's like......you're flying!" well, okay, Jackson. I guess I gotta admit that. but he was enjoying himself a lot more than I was. I was perfectly content just watching him and eating smores and cookies. we all talked by the fire a bit, and then all too soon, we remembered it was freaking DAYLIGHT SAVINGS the next day, and he has early church. so, at like 12;50 AM, I drove him home and we just sang every word of every song together. I love it when people like my music, especially boys. Jackson and I have pretty much the same music taste, and it was nice to have someone (with a really good voice too!) to sing along with me. this was definitely the most fun date I have been on: we had great food, great music, great people, I went razor riding/off roading/whatever works for you and didn't die, I went flying on a crazy swingset, sang good songs, and had the sweetest date. 

PS. the subject of graduating and missions came up at least 10 times that day. why am I not a senior? or why aren't all my friends juniors? why are they all leaving?

ADD...oh wait. what?

one of my biggest pet peeves is when people say, "I'm so ADD right now!"

because, unless you have actually been diagnosed by a doctor, you're not.

ADD/ADHD is a lot more than simply "not being able to concentrate on stuff " or "getting easily distracted." I invite you all (except NO ONE ACTUALLY READS MY BLOG) to read this. the guy who wrote this did 100x better explaining what I deal with 24/7 than I ever could. and it's actually quite funny.  every time someone asks me what it's like to live with ADD, I wish I could show them this. because this guy seriously nailed it.

http://www.tickld.com/x/if-your-friends-ever-say-they-have-adhd-just-show-them-this

and I also found this video. yet another accurate and humorous description of what goes on in the brain. this one is hilarious, but after my brothers watched it, they also claimed they were ADD, so be careful with this one. it is true that some of these behaviors exist in normal people, but they are much more extreme with ADD.

(also, ADD and ADHD are basically the same thing. in my case, I am still restless and impulsive, but not as extreme as some people with the hyperactivity. I don't go running around destroying things impulsively.)

PS. it took me about 20 minutes to write this post because I kept on getting distracted and forgot what I was doing.
PPS. that was not an ADD joke. that really happened.
PPPS. I was actually writing an essay for AP US History when I got distracted, got on Facebook (which I get on at most once a day to check if I have notifications), saw a link to the article, and decided to read it.

10 steps of having good times, most of the time

a lot of people tell me I am a very cheerful person. I'd like to think of myself that way, but sometimes, I slip up and am a real grump. a few of my friends ask me how I manage to stay happy most of the time. truth is, I don't even know myself, but I have a few things I do that have really helped me to be a lot happier than I normally would be this crazy junior year. so, I present you

The 10 Steps of having Good Times, (most of the time)

1. look good. when you look good, you feel good. and yes this means wearing makeup. even if it's just a little mascara, it still makes a huge difference. I know I probably don't look horrible without makeup, but I just feel like it enhances the way I look, and it makes me feel more confident. also, this means actually getting dressed. I know that leggings and sweatshirts are more comfortable than jeans or dresses or anything that requires "pants", and I do wear leggings and sweatshirts myself. but don't do it everyday. those outfits make me feel comfortable, but knowing I took the time to get myself dressed and look cute makes me feel a lot more confident and ready for my day. one of my friends asked me why I always look cute, and I said, "I just want to. looking good makes me feel good!"

2. don't eat a ton of crap. carrots don't taste like peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, and I think everyone knows that I would definitely prefer the latter. but eating junk food all the time doesn't make you feel good, and therefore, it doesn't make you happy. I'm not saying abandon it completely. It's something I would never be able to do. but cutting back and eating healthier just makes you feel good! so, do it.

3. make someone's day, every day. it's just a nice thing to do. give someone a genuine compliment. you have no idea how much it can make someone's day. I've had those rough days where I come to school with really wet hair and got 5 hours of sleep, and someone has given me a compliment, and it just makes the day a whole lot better. try it! (but don't give the same people the same compliments every day, because eventually, they might start to question your sincerity.) but if you compliment at least one person or do something else to make their day, just watch their reaction. I guarantee your day will be made as well!

4. develop passions and talents. I have played piano for 9-10 years, and it took a while before I decided I was really passionate about it. I had to switch teachers a few times and find songs that I truly enjoyed to play, and once I did that, I was hooked. a really musically talented friend of mine helped me push myself more and have real goals of where I wanted to be. I started practicing for longer, and I made it a routine. I finally found my passion after playing for about 7 years. they don't just come to you though. you have to work on them, but in the end, knowing that all that hard work has paid off is truly one of the greatest feelings. for you, it doesn't have to be piano. it can be art, a sport, cooking, anything, really. (as long as it isn't watching TV or doing drugs. those require no talent.)

5. exercise. for me, this is easy because going back to step 4, tennis is one of my biggest passions. whenever it is possible, I make my mom or a friend go down to the court with me and hit with me. not only am I getting exercise doing it, but I am also improving my talents, forming close friendships, and doing what I love to do! sometimes, I hate early morning conditions. but I still go to them, because the results will make me feel good in the end and I will be happier. in the winter, it is a lot harder for me because indoor courts are not available on demand. on those days, I just go to the gym and run on the treadmill. it definitely isn't the same thing, but I am getting some form of exercise, and that helps my wintertime depression in ways I never thought it would. finding motivation to exercise may not be the easiest, but make yourself do it. I promise. it's so good for you.

6. do what you want. because why would we waste our time doing what we don't want to do? (except for homework. for the sake of your grades and getting into college, do that.) I have an interesting story to go along with this. Sweethearts was last week, on Valentines Day. I didn't get asked to that dance, and I already knew who I wanted to ask to MORP, which is 3 weeks after. so, on the Monday before Sweethearts, I went ahead and asked! It is an unspoken social norm not to ask to a dance before another dance is over. well, I broke that rule. why? because I knew who I wanted to ask! did I care that my date has a girlfriend? well, maybe I did, but she's really nice. did that stop me from asking? NO! a few girls were not too happy that I broke 2 unspoken rules, and asked me "why did you ask so early? sweethearts hasn't even happened!" or "why did you ask him? he has a girlfriend!" well, it's because I knew I wanted to ask him, so I freaking did it! and did I care what people thought? no! and did he answer me 3 days later (still 2 days before Sweethearts)? you bet he did! so, this just proves that doing what you want makes you happy, and don't you ever let anyone stop you!

7. be confident! this is harder for some people, but I found that when I am confident in myself, I am a lot happier and it makes it easier for me to be nice to others. it's that simple. it's harder to be nice to people if you aren't nice to yourself! so, be nice to yourself. be confident. don't be too cocky, because you might come off the wrong way. but please, don't get down on yourself! just tell yourself, "I got this." and you will find that you do!

8. know that it's okay not to be happy all the time. some days, I just lose it. school is hard. friends are hard. there's no food in the house. it's cold outside. and in that case, it's okay to be sad. it's okay to cry. don't worry that you aren't being happy all the time. I'm definitely not that way! and yes, it's okay to have a bad week. that's happened to me. but remember, it's just a bad day. not a bad life!

9. don't care so much about what others think. because chances are, if you think they think a certain way, they are probably not even thinking about you at all! and if they judge you based on stupid things, they aren't worth your time. you're too good for that.

10. enjoy the good times. make them memorable. make the most out of them. enjoy them.

hope this helps.

is this the real life...or is this just Fantasie?

I'm not really good at this whole blogging game anymore because junior year happened. and as far as I know, no one even reads my blog anymore. but for those that do, I thought I might humor you with an embarrassing story.

so, last Saturday, I have this piano recital, and I'm supposed to be playing this song- Fantasie Impromptu by Chopin. I have wanted to learn this song for a loooong time. about 2 years ago, one of my really good friends played it for me and I was amazed at how good he was, and I told myself, "someday, I will be this good and I will learn this." well, in November, I finished off my crazy huge sonata festival (where I played this song, Moonlight Sonata, movement 3. all 15 pages), and finally, I could prepare for my 19th century recital, and of course, after playing all 15 pages of the 3rd movement of Moonlight Sonata, I feel like I can play anything. so, I choose Fantasie Impromptu. and it's not an easy song. It required long, slow practices with the metronome, drilling the same measures for hours, painful wrist tension, learning when to lift the pedal, balance and articulation, dynamics, and playing with expression. if a deaf person watched me play, they wouldn't think I was very good unless they watched the movement in my fingers. I am not one of those people who moves their entire body with the music. my passion lies in my fingers only, not everything else. I just can't subconsciously do that. but I've been trying to look more passionate when I play.  so, add all that stuff up and it's a lot to work on. I wanted to get it perfect, so I'd practice an hour-an hour and a half every day, just on that song. (now, I know that more dedicated pianists practice at least 2 hours. I just don't have the time or patience to do that. but I'm doing my best.)

but finally, the day of my recital, I feel really confident and I can play through the song almost perfectly. I'm not too worried because it's not a competition and I'm not getting judged. I'm not too nervous. I'm listed second to last on the program, so I let all these kids go before me, and I'm doing okay. But as soon as I walk up there, the nerves hit me. at my last recital (which was a competition), I had to start over but after that I played well. I didn't want to do it this time. So, I'm sitting at the bench, thinking through my song...or that's what I'm supposed to be doing. I just go and jump in and start playing, and already on the 4th measure, I can't play. I screw up a run, and decide to start again. my goal was not to start over. but I guess I can do it once. but I have the same problem. same spot. I can't get past that one spot. so, without thinking, I just run off the stage and tell the last girl to go. everyone's staring at me and that makes me feel worse. I sit with my parents and they don't say anything, except my dad says, "if you want to go up after she's done, then you should. but I won't force you to do this one." which my dad is never like this. usually, he makes me push through everything. if I'm feeling sick, he claims it's all in my head and that I need to be mentally tough. if I say I'm going to do something, I'm not allowed to back out. but I could tell he felt really bad, which made me feel better but also made me feel almost worse, in a way.

well, I thought about it the whole time the last girl was playing. I worked so hard to get to this moment, and why back out after all that? I already messed up pretty bad and started over twice and gave up. but I wasn't going to leave the recital hall without playing my song. and I wouldn't start over again.

so the last girl finishes, and I walk back up, sit down, actually think about what I'm about to do, and once I'm ready, I start playing. and I am actually doing pretty well. I'm still really nervous, so I'm not playing nearly as well as I do on my own, but considering the fact that I'm under a lot of pressure, it's going okay. but right as I'm about to get to the slow part, I look down at the keys and see that there's blood all over them. and then I notice, my index finger on my right hand, has a hangnail, and it just happened to start bleeding.

THERE IS BLOOD.
ON THE PIANO.
just when you think it can't get any worse, IT DOES.

well, I've already started over twice and let another girl go in front of me, so I guess I just have to ignore this bloody hangnail. but it's obvious. anyone who was sitting on the front row could tell that I'm bleeding everywhere. and I just have to play through it. I try not to focus on it, but it just made it 500 times harder to play. but I play okay and I just accept that I have to struggle through it. so, I finish, play my final chord, casually wipe my finger off, and stand up and take my bow.
and EVERYONE IS CLAPPING.
well, what do I do now? I just run straight to my teacher and say, "I have a hangnail on my right hand and it started bleeding while I was playing... don't let anyone near the piano. um.... sorry about that." and she says, "it's okay, you played through it, and you played beautifully." and a bunch of moms came up to me and said that they have heard me at other recitals and master classes, and that I'm a very accomplished pianist and that they are impressed that even though I got hit by some weird case of nerves and my FREAKING FINGER STARTED TO BLEED, I pushed through it and played really well. I guess that made me feel a little better. but to me, I just felt like a failure. I thought it was going to be amazing, I would play through it perfectly, and not get a bloody hangnail. so, I just beat myself up the whole way home and cry about how bad I am and that these people don't know everything.

but eventually, that evening, I recovered. I was at a party in Park City with a ton of my friends, and they asked how my day was, and I told them this story, and I was even able to laugh at myself. because the whole thing now seemed absolutely ridiculous. it was really embarrassing at the time, but I was able to get over myself. and considering the fact that I had a really weird case of nerves and that I was bleeding everywhere, I played really well. and if I had just given up, I would've been really mad at myself for a long time.

so, next time you have a recital or concert or game or anything, just think, "at least I don't have a bloody hangnail." and even if you do, just push through it. it's hard to ignore this stuff, but I pushed through it. and I'm just proud of myself for doing that. and who knows, it makes for a good story to tell at parties.

Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only 17

well, I've officially been 17 for a week now. Crazy isn't it. This year, I wasn't really anticipating my birthday like I was last year. (I mean, I was turning sixteen. I had been looking forward to that since I could remember.) I was still pretty excited, but if I anticipate things too much like I used to do with Christmas, I find that I don't enjoy them as much as I would have if I hadn't been over-anticipating it. so, I literally had no expectations for birthday presents. I didn't even go shopping until after my birthday, and I found out that I liked that a lot better. This year was my best birthday yet, and I promise I don't say that every year!

Friday, January 23, 2015, I turned 17. I woke up like it was any other day except I actually did my hair so I guess it was a special occasion. I drove to school, parked in my normal parking spot, and as soon as I parked my car and locked it, people started telling me "Happy Birthday!" which made me feel really happy. I got more birthday texts and tweets and Facebook wall posts than I ever have in my life, which all made me super happy. All I can say is that I have the best friends in the world who really know how to make my day! In 3rd period, Ms. Baker, my favorite teacher in the world (she was my AP World History teacher last year, and she loved me so much she let me TA for her last semester) announced on the intercom that it was my birthday. The only time they ever announce birthdays is when it's a teacher's birthday. but now all of Timpview knew it was my birthday, and people I barely even knew were telling me "Happy Birthday!" and I don't think I had ever been that happy in a long time. my classes were still hard, and my math class likes to torment my math teacher and sing "Happy Birthday" to her every day (because she won't tell us her real birthday, we like to assume her birthday is everyday.) well, a few of my friends start singing, and my math teacher says "STOP IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!" and my friend Lindsey says, "But it's not your birthday, it's Miriam's!" it was pretty funny, but getting through that class was exhausting.

my friends Grace L (blonde one) and Grace V (brunette one) came over for lunch at my house to have pasta salad and cookies. what a change it was from last year's birthday lunch. I had like 60-70 people at my house that day; this year, I had 2. but the real celebration would be in the evening instead, so this was our special little pre-celebration. also, last year my friend's mom had to pick me up and drive me to my birthday lunch, and most of my friends needed rides from their parents or older people. but this year, I drove myself and my friends to my own birthday lunch, and it just shows how being 17 is so much more fun than being 16!

the real celebration happened that night. there was a basketball game at 7, which Timpview won, 76-51! (so good way to spend my birthday at a winning game), and I left as soon as the buzzer went off in order to drive home as fast as I could and get the house ready for all the people who were coming over! instead of doing another lunch, Mom and I decided that since my birthday was on a Friday, we would have a dessert party thing at our house after the game. Mom drove herself crazy baking cookies! We had lemon, peanut butter chocolate chip, chocolate mint, normal chocolate chip, and miniature chocolate mousse, all baked by Mama Castle. at first, there were like 5 people here (only 1 besides myself was a girl) but as soon as it was 9, more people started coming and they all enjoyed the treats! I guess a lot of my friends had Jr. Jazz games after the real game, so they all came at 9:30. by then, who knows.. about 50-60 people came in all? actually maybe less. but who cares about the number. all of my best friends were there, and it made me so happy to see how many people came to support and tell me Happy Birthday and eat our treats! the peanut butter chocolate chip cookies seemed to be the top favorite, which isn't surprising since they are mine. some of my friends were extra sweet and brought gifts! My friend Grace S (I have so many Grace friends) got me a gift card to Cafe Rio, and I wanted to cry of happiness. my sweet tennis friends, Kea and Kali, brought balloons and Swedish Fish and Diet Coke. everyone knows me so well!

the next day, I had a great time going to lunch at 180 Tacos with my mom and grandma, and did all my birthday shopping. I also took treats to my best friends who weren't able to make it over last night so they didn't feel left out. they were all so happy, which made my "after-party" so much better. and to this day, 1 week later, people are still asking how my birthday was and how it feels to be 17. it feels amazing, let me tell you!

 trying to throw up a "17". Grace had to help me get  my hands the right way

and a special thanks to Mama Castle who birthed me. congrats on being a mom for 17 years, and thanks for making all the wonderful treats. you are actually the reason I have friends, is because you always make good food at our house! (also the fact that I have a license helps)

for the love of....what?

so, I changed the name of my blog.... again.

I just didn't feel like being "must I even explain?" anymore. I created that name in 8th grade, after having some other names like "the blog of legitness" or a few worse titles. so, now, after a lot of not careful brainstorming, I have come up with the name "for the love of good times". 

I have wanted to change the name of my blog for a long time, but I couldn't think of anything good. I was even considering using some Red Hot Chili Peppers lyrics as the title. (if any of you are familiar with RHCP, you are aware that a lot of their lyrics are random nonsense that doesn't make sense, but 1. that stuff is catchy, and 2. there are some of their songs that despite some random nonsense, have some sort of beautiful meaning to them.) but, "can't stop, addicted to the shindig" isn't the greatest name for a blog, mainly because it doesn't make any sense, other than the fact that it's a line from one of my Top 5 Favorite Songs of All Time. so, that idea was canned. (if you have no idea what I'm talking about, please look up "Can't Stop" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. it will change your life.)

well, one day, I was taking a shower and I found myself thinking of things I love to do. of course, tennis is the first thing that comes into my head, mainly because I can't exactly practice consistently right now. and I was thinking of tennis terms, wondering if I could incorporate some tennis humor into my blog title. and that's when I got it.

for the love of good times.

"love" means "nothing" or "no score" in tennis, but really, who cares. and whenever I play tennis, I have good times. and i realized, even though half my posts are nonsense ramblings, the other half is about all the good times I've had on vacations, playing tennis, doing whatever the heck I'm doing. I looked back on journal entries, and I realized I sign a lot of them with "good times." and that just makes me really happy for some reason. so, I decided to incorporate that into my title as well. who knows. I might change it again to something either really stupid or more clever. but for now, here it is.

good times,